Rules of Meetings

1) Never arrive on time, or you will be stamped a beginner.

2) Never carry stacks of papers/presentations to any meeting. You will be stamped as a beginner. Laptop is okay.

3) Don't say anything until the meeting is half over; this stamps you as being wise.

4) Be as vague as possible; this prevents irritating the others. Re-iterate some basic points as applied to the current meeting topic. Generally comment on processes.

5) When in doubt, suggest that a subcommittee be appointed.

6) Always praise someone or a team int he meeting. This elevates your status a lot and people would want you in a lot more meetings.

7) Make crude jokes on parties outside the meeting. This will make you popular

8) Be the first to move for adjournment; this will make you popular - it's what everyone is waiting for.

9) Explicitly take down an easy task for yourself to do; Repeat a couple of times. Ensures you don't spend too much time after the meeting, working out detail.

10) After the meeing is over, compliment someone on their clothes. This also makes you popular. On Audio conferences, talk about the weather and Iraq.